“Always carry a notebook. And I mean always. The short-term memory only retains information for three minutes; unless it is committed to paper you can lose an idea for ever.”
― Will Self
― Will Self
It's been 2 months since Garrett's practice opened, 2 months since my computer was taken to his office and became the property of Christensen Chiropractic, and therefore 2 months since my last blog post.
I made one attempt to blog from my iPhone--definitely a pain and not worth it--and figured that perhaps my blogging days were over for awhile until we could buy a computer for our home.
I have missed blogging about my everyday life (my blog is my journal) but I figured that maybe a break from blogging wasn't a bad thing since I had become aware of unkind things that have been said about my blog and the things that I write. Maybe I should close my blog and write in a good old-fashioned diary and keep my life to myself? Maybe no one reads this thing anyway? Besides, life has been nothing short of hectic with three small children, a husband working over 12 hours a day 6 days a week, and our family not living in our own home. I have kind of needed every spare moment to focus on my family, so not blogging seemed like no big deal, until this happened.......
In March my grandparents' barn burned down. Not only did Grannie, Grandpa, and my cousin Amy's family lose a lot of possessions in that fire, but the barn--which was built in the 1950's--was practically a Valley monument and filled with memories. It was a great loss.
At the time that barn burned down, we were renting the upstairs of a friend's house (to save money while we got Garrett's practice started) only a stone's throw from Grannie and Grandpa's barn. I watched the barn fire from our bedroom window and shed a few tears for all the possessions, hard work, and memories that were reduced to ashes within minutes. Though we lost so little compared to others, we had been storing a lot of our household items in the barn until we were able to move back out on our own. I didn't care much about what we lost since we really don't have many material possessions, but then I realized that we had bins in the barn full of items that could not be replaced--my baby clothes, family heirlooms and keepsakes, photos from my childhood and early adult years, and our journals. Garrett had kept detailed journals during his late teens and into his mid twenties and I had been a pretty diligent journal keeper my entire life up until I began this blog. Now those pieces of our personal histories were gone. While it is a little bit of a relief that no one will ever get the chance to read through all the juicy (and perhaps embarrassing?) details of my teen years, I was admittedly very sad to have lost everything I had written over the years--fond memories, lessons learned, things I believed, things I knew, things I had accomplished, places I've been, people who had impacted my life and made me better. I was sad to lose those journals (Garrett's and mine) not only because I would have liked to pass them onto our children, but because reading through your journaling periodically is a good reminder of where you've been, how far you've come, what you've done, and how you have grown. I know that reading through my journals has helped me to remember important things that I otherwise most certainly would have forgotten.
As I have contemplated this loss that is worth so little money but at the same time quite priceless, I have felt a pull to begin blogging again. This is, after all, my journal and one that luckily cannot be lost in a single fire. My life, my thoughts, my beliefs, and how I write it all may not mean much to most people, but it remains invaluable to me and may someday be invaluable to my family and posterity. I should not allow the absence of my nice computer or the possibility of criticism keep me from journaling, especially when I really enjoy it and enjoy allowing others (family, friends, acquaintances, or even strangers) to see a glimpse into it.
So today I managed to resurrect our dinosaur laptop and start it up again. It may be slow, quirky, and threatening to combust, but I can still type on it and upload a few pictures--something that just can't be done easily from an iPhone.
There has been so much going on lately--Soren is laughing, Kenadie has her first loose tooth and is starting to read, Lila spends all her days in princess dresses loving on her brother and following her big sister like a shadow, Garrett is a busy chiropractor in a fast-growing practice that is his and that he loves, we have moved again and are renting a cute townhouse near my parents--and I intend to write about all of it. I also intend to backtrack and begin to rewrite the personal history that no longer exists in the journal I purchased from Argentina or the words written out in my 3rd grade cursive, because someday someone might find it useful.....even if that someone is only me.
“And life goes on, which seems kind of strange and cruel when you're watching someone die. But there's a joy and an abundance of everything, like information and laughter and summer weather and so many stories. My mother urges me to write them down because, "You're the last of the Markhams, my love." So I record dates and journeys and personalities and traits and heroes and losers and weaknesses and strengths and I try to capture every one of those people because one day I'll need what they had to offer.”
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road