February 28, 2013

Motherhood: Stripped of Pride

During our family vacation to California, we hit the San Diego Zoo and the beach in one day (not recommended, very exhausting!).
The beach was windy and a bit cold, but that didn't stop daddy and the girls from running into the waves.

We had a blast playing on the beach and the girls made some friends: a little British family who had brought their grandparents with them to experience California.
They were so cute and proper.
My kids on the other hand....
Kenadie farted a few times loudly, laughed, and repeatedly proclaimed that she had a "tooty butt".
Lila wouldn't stop picking her nose.  Then she kept trying to take off her swim suit.  She also enjoyed sticking her fingers in the sand, licking the sand off of them, and then dipping them in again, and repeat.

My kids are cute, but not exactly "proper". :)

And then......
While I was busy monitoring Lila's sand eating, Garrett was down with Kenadie near the water.  At one point I looked over and noticed that Kenadie's swim bottoms were down at her ankles and she was mooning our British friends.  Garrett wasn't looking in her direction so I shouted at him to please go tend to our exhibitionist daughter.
He ran and grabbed her and then headed for the water.
After rinsing her off in the waves he came back up to where we were, laughing.
"Kenadie just pulled down her pants and pooped right in front of that family!"
What potty-trained child does that?!
Slightly mortified, I sent Garrett with a diaper to collect the poop pile.  The family was still standing there and Garrett laughed and said, "Who's kid is that, anyway?!" He said they politely laughed.

{Dear Californians: if you find a drastic decrease in the number of your British tourists in the near future, it may or may not be because they believe American children are hoodlums who expose their white rear ends and poop in public.  My apologies. :) }

Motherhood does an excellent job of keeping one stripped of pride:
 *You try to stay well-dressed when in public?  Well, your child will make sure to disrobe at the most embarrassing moment possible.

*You're sitting quietly in church while the sacrament is being passed?  Well, your child will announce at the top of her lungs that her privates are hurting.

*You've brought all sorts of goodies and diversions on an airplane to ensure that the flight will be bearable for all?  Your children will still kick the chair in front of them while simultaneously competing in a screaming match.

*You try to teach your children manners and etiquette?  Well, your child will poop on the beach in front of a cute little British family.

Like I said: pride is gone.
Thanks, kids, for keeping your mom humble wherever we go.  You also supply our family with some pretty great stories to tell and give us plenty of laughs.
Life would be so boring without you! :)

Every once in awhile, I can capture this on camera:

Don't we look like such a cute, well-behaved little family?!  :)


Kadie Dahl said...

This brightened my night! My baby isn't quite at an embarrassing age yet and this gives me something to look forward to ;)

Steffany said...

That is an awesome story! Your girls sound hilarious! Having kids has certainly humbled me too :)

Mark said...

A blog is a great way to collect the memories! Thank you for sharing them with us!

rawhide said...

cute pictures! i love your stories....please continue to share them!

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