We went to a friend's house for dinner the other night and this friend had prepared a ten course meal for us. Seriously decadent. I, however, only ate multi-colored, steamed celery with a side of red maple leaves as a salad.
Realizing that my dinner was not very filling, I went home and baked some gluten-free bread. However, when I went to take the bread out of the oven, the loaves had turned into red jell-o. I was so ticked, but looked at the clock and realized that I better scoot or I'd be late for the high school varsity football team tryouts.
I showed up for tryouts just in time and blew the socks off the coaches--I was fast, very fast. The offensive coordinator was so impressed that he gave me tickets to Disneyworld. Sa-weet! And then--ba ba da ba!--came the moment when the head coach posted up the roster of those who made the team.
Just as I about made it to the front of the line to see my glorious name up as 1st-string wide receiver, something shot through me like a bolt of lightning: the realization that I had given birth to a baby girl a week ago.....and that I couldn't remember even try breastfeeding her since her birth. Um, have I fed my baby AT ALL since she'd been born!? I couldn't remember. Surely, my husband hadn't thought to give her a bottle of formula at all this past week!?! Oh my goodness, my baby has been starving for a week: I am officially the worst mom ever! And that is when my alarm clock went off.