November 5, 2011

To Lila

Dear baby girl: Oh, how I've been missing you!  I hardly put you down at all on Wednesday after working 3 days in a row (in which I didn't get to see you at all).  "12 hour shifts" are actually code for "13 hour shifts minimum that usually end up being 14 hours".  Your daddy is wonderful to take care of you and Kenners in the evening until I get home.  It's usually no problem to keep Kenadie up at night so I can read to her and put her to bed once I get home; but you, little baby, can barely keep your eyelids open until 7:30pm--usually an hour before I even get home.  Sad.  
Sneaking into your room at night to see you sleep and smooch on your little cheeks just isn't the same as getting to interact with you while you're awake.  I find that on the days I am home, everything else--besides you and your sister--gets severely neglected.  I love to soak in all the time with you that I can.  Though a large part of me detests being away from you at all, I see blessings come from sacrifice.  On the weekends, your daddy gets to spend a lot of time with you and bond with you and your sister in a way that may not happen if I were here.  Daddy and I have a unique gift in getting to understand exactly how the other feels in our respective "mommy duties" and "daddy duties": Daddy can appreciate how much work it is to manage the home and the kids, and Mommy can appreciate how dog-tired and in need of rest one can be after a long day of work.  You and your sister also get to spend a lot of time bonding with your Grandma Willardson when Mommy is gone, and boy is she nuts about you (as are your Grandpa and aunties)!  Yes, there are many blessings that do and will continue to come from this experience.  However, I continue to pray that despite the "mommy absence" in your life right now, you will always feel how much I love you and that nothing is more important to me than you, your sister, and your daddy. 
Love,  Mommy

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