March 28, 2011

The Silver Lining

The highlight of my week last week was going to my OB appointment.
Generally, those check-ups are pretty boring (and might I add they often seem so pointless!?).
However, this time I got to take another peek at our munchkin via ultrasound and I was able to go sans Kenners--a much-needed mommy break after countless tantrums and having to put her in time-out 4+ times that morning for pinching! 
The check-up went well; baby is healthy, active, and most definitely a girl! :)
I did have to drink that nasty, sugary drink for the blood glucose test to ensure that I don't have gestational diabetes, but I passed that test last pregnancy with flying colors, so I wasn't worried.  Plus, it gave me an extra hour of kid-free time to read in the lobby while I waited for my blood to be drawn.  All in all, a pretty nice and relaxing afternoon.
I came home.  It was a rare sunny day, so we bundled up and took a walk outside. 
Halfway through our walk I got a call from my OB's office.  
"Sweet!" I'm thinking. "They're totally going to change my due date (because baby has been measuring on the big side)!"
Not so.
My doctor's nurse called to inform me that I failed my glucose test.
She had that sweet, apologetic tone to her voice like, "Yeah......your blood sugar was....pretty high."
So I get to go back in to the office sometime this week, drink more sugary, nasty stuff, and have more blood drawn to see just how "bad" my blood sugar issue is. 
And as kindly as she could, the nurse hinted to plan on failing this test as well because my blood sugar was so high the first time.
Which means that I may spend the rest of the pregnancy pricking my finger 4 times a day, monitoring everything I eat, and possibly (but hopefully not) having to take insulin shots.
To be honest, I was pretty ticked-off the rest of the evening. 
How could my blood sugar be so high!?  I eat a pretty healthy, low-sugar diet!
  We're a little weird about nutrition around here: we don't eat pasta (because of my gluten issues); rarely eat potatoes; only eat whole wheat bread that I bake; occasionally eat dessert.  To "cut back" on my carbs would mean to eliminate fruit and the little carbs that I do eat.  So....a protein and veggie diet!?.....doesn't sound too fun.
Like I said, I was grumpy.

After a few more time-outs and behavior correction (Kenners was NOT happy to have to come inside from our walk), I ended the evening with giving Kenadie a bath and then singing to her while snuggling in the rocking chair.
  Though I had spent the majority of my day wanting to strangle her, in that moment I had to refrain myself from squeezing the life out of her because of her cuteness in trying to sing along to "My Heavenly Father Loves Me".  As I rocked her, I couldn't help but think of the many mothers who have lost a child and would gladly take all the bad behavior and time-outs just to be able to have their child back in their arms.  The great things about motherhood far outweigh the moments of frustration, and at the end of the day, I just feel so blessed to have Kenadie in our family.  (She is just a fun, little firecracker!)

Then my thoughts turned to the other frustrating part of my day: learning about my high blood sugar.
A part of me would like to think that I should get a pass card on gestational diabetes because of all the other discomforts pregnancy provides me. 
However, as I sat and rocked Kenadie, I began to think of the many women who would gladly spend 9 months puking, on bed rest, with gestational diabetes, and every other discomfort imaginable just to be able to have a child of their own....and I realize that as uncomfortable as it may all be, it is so worth it and I would go through far worse just to get to be a mother.
I am so blessed to be able to bear children, and so grateful that despite my own discomforts, this little baby appears to be perfectly healthy.  It is a blessing that so many don't have....
What I perceive to be just another thorn in my side is really probably just my Heavenly Father trying to humble me and help me be more grateful for the blessings that I do have. 
How blessed I am to live in a time when I can get the medical attention necessary to manage pregnancy complications before they pose a serious health risk to me and my baby.
How blessed I am to have a happy little family with (what I hope are) all the normal, daily frustrations that come with it.
After spending a good ten minutes of time in the rocking chair, it's really hard to be upset anymore and even harder not to see the silver lining in my every frustration.....
...and even harder to keep from smooching Kenners to death as she happily went to bed with a "Nigh-nigh, Mommy!"


Ellis family said...

Great Aha moment for you! It is great to be mothers! And hello i had it so it shouldn't have been to big of a shocker... You know I feel for you, but at least it's for a short while, and not full blown diabetes. That always helped me get through it! Love ya!

Rita Christiansen said...

Thanks Holly - It is REALLY important to remember that some women would do anything to be able to be pregant. Our discomfort for nine months is nothing compared to that pain.

Claire Christensen said...

You got it right! Each child is such a blessing and every bit worth the suffering and sacrifice!

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