I walked into work yesterday and was immediately told that I looked terrible.
Thank-you for that.
I proceeded to go about my duties but kept having little black-outs every time I stood up or moved too fast.
My boss told me to go to the ER.
I felt ridiculous.
Ridiculous because I am an Oberg, and as such, I feel that I should carry on unless I am bleeding to death or something. Plus, it has been my personal goal to make it this entire pregnancy without going to the hospital (until the delivery, of course).
So I stayed put.
Several hours later, my colleague took my blood pressure: 80/50. Shoot. So I called the doctor and was told to go to the hospital for some IV fluids. Grrr....
Luckily, I got to skip the ER and was sent to the Cancer Infusion Center instead to get hydrated. Sure enough, low blood pressure and deflated veins: ouch.
But, I got to spend the two hours of rehydration sitting next to the most lovely people, taking a little nap, and reflecting on how I seem to have blessings pouring on me from every direction:
1. I realize how blessed I was to have worked as a nurse for cancer patients and that a part of me kind of misses it. At the time, I didn't realize what a blessing working in cancer actually was; I viewed it more as a burden. I had a hard time dealing with losing my patients and seeing them suffer, and I complained about how "hard" work was on me physically, mentally, but especially emotionally. Yesterday I sat next to an older lady who was getting her chemotherapy. We talked about her treatments. The chemo. was working wonders on her cancer and she was very optimistic. I shared a few little "pointers" and tidbits with her about how to manage some symptoms. I realized how much I miss helping my cancer patients. And I realized how much I missed associating with such strong and inspiring people who emit light and happiness wherever they go regardless of their disease. Being a cancer nurse taught me so much and helped me to grow a lot as a person. I can now express gratitude for that difficult year and see it for the blessing that it was. And luckily, if I need more fluids in the future, I get to go back to the Infusion Center and maybe see some of my new friends. :)
2. I realized that getting my fluids at the Infusion Center is pretty much perfect, because it helps me to keep in perspective how very blessed I am that I am only there for fluids and not for chemotherapy. I don't have cancer. I'm not having to question if I'll be alive or healthy next year. This is only a fleeting few months and definitely worth it for what awaits at the end. What a blessing.
3. I talked to my Daddy on the phone while I was getting my fluids. He had been calling and urging me to go to the hospital all day, and I realized how lucky I am to have parents who love me so much and are genuinely concerned for my well-being.
4. I also received a phone call from a friend saying that she was going grocery shopping to make me 14+ freezer meals for my family since I have recently abandoned all cooking-related activities. I hung up the phone and cried, because I am so touched by how selfless and giving people are. It feels like Christmas.
5. Naps are a luxury of the gods and after a little snooze and 2 liters of Lactated Ringers, I felt alive again! Those few hours yesterday were really heaven-sent and just what I needed to be able to spend the rest of the day with my little toot.
6. I was soooo happy to see my little girl when I picked her up in the evening. We went home and I tried to have her help me pick up all her balls and put them in the basket. She threw a hissy fit and tried to dump all the balls out again. So I sat her in the basket and buried her with balls and I don't believe she's ever had so much fun! In the end, the balls still ended up all over the floor, but it's worth all the happiness. What a little ray of sunshine....
7. While I was on my way to the hospital, I called Garrett to let him know what was up. He came home ASAP that evening, did the dishes, bathed our daughter, made dinner, did the laundry, and then skipped class this morning to do the grocery shopping and finish our Christmas shopping! I'm feel a tad bit spoiled. Do I really deserve such royal treatment!? Or such an incredible husband!?
So, funny thing: I was really ticked about going to the hospital yesterday, but turns out that going was a blessing--and not just for the obvious health reasons, but because after a little reflection, I went to bed last night feeling like life really can't get any better than this, can it? No complaints here!