Dear Acne:

Where were you during my awkward teenage years, you know, the time you usually show up in people's lives?

Why did you decide to wait until college to cling to my face like seran wrap?

Why are you still here?

Why won't you ever go away?

Why is it that I haven't had clear skin in, oh, 7 or 8 years?

How is it that you promptly disappear whenever Jessica Simpson uses Proactiv but when I use Proactiv you somehow survive while the rest of my skin gets chemically burned?

Not only are you ugly and annoying, 

you hurt. 

Dealing with you really is not that big of a catastrophe when I think of the oodles of far worse things I could be dealing with....

However, I'd appreciate it if you would just go pick on a gawky 13-year-old and leave me alone.

Thank you.

~Me