At 10:22am today...

... Kenners had just woken up

I had not yet fed her breakfast

I was still in my PJs

with puffy, red eyes

my sprigs were in a vertical full-bloom

luggage was strewn all over the floor of our apartment

and I was just content to be lounging on the floor while Kenners played with her singing teapot.

Are you thinking "lazy mom" yet?!

Aside from the fact that I am being pretty lazy

my excuse was that we flew home from San Diego yesterday (sniff)

and got home past midnight

which in and of itself equals a long day.

But then throw the following on top of it, and I am just grateful we survived.....

We got the the airport 40 minutes before boarding time.

But then Garrett had forgotten his phone in his mom's car.

She had to drive back 20 minutes to return it to him.

Then the airport decided that they did not like the case or lock for Garrett's handgun 

(which they've never been bothered by the other 4+ times we've flown with it).

Garrett had to rent a different lock and case.

That took some extra time.

We finally got to check ourselves through security.

As I was about to walk through the little metal-detecting doorway

the lovely security man asked me to go back and take off Kenadie's light, little jacket and place it on the belt. (seriously!?)

So I went back and did so.

As I was about to walk back through, he asked me to take away her pacifier and place it on the belt.

(Because I would be putting some sort of explosive in my child's mouth in the disguise of a pacifier?!)

I'm surprised he didn't ask me to remove her diaper.  You could hide a lot in one of those things!

We finally made it through security 

but realized that Garrett's water bottle still had a tiny bit of water in it.

So Garrett had to go back, throw out the water, and go through security again.

We made our flight to Denver (whew!).

We had a nice 2 hour layover where we got to see Kyle (Gar's brother), Talia, and their amazingly adorable children.

We had so much fun that we were running late and barely made our next flight. 

We flew Southwest, which does not give assigned seating.

People can sit wherever they want.

This means that by the time we got on the plane, everyone had occupied every aisle and window seats with a few spare middle seats left.

Apparently, cooties still exist past grade school!?

The nice flight attendant offered to give free cocktails to whoever would be willing to move around so that we could sit together.

No one moved.

So Garrett sat somewhere in the back on the plane.

I sat somewhere in the middle next to another cute little baby.

This little baby was very well behaved, sleepy, and tried to sleep on the flight.

However, Kenadie screeched like a pterodactyl

the whole time. 

She wanted to grab the sleeping baby, climb over the seats, bite me non-stop with her razor-sharp baby teeth. 

I got a few sympathy glances from other passengers

and a lot of death glares.

As if I was enjoying my child's antics.

I wanted to get up and walk the aisles with her,

but I was strictly prohibited due to the illuminated fasten seatbelt sign and some "major" (which actually seemed pretty minor) turbulence that we were experiencing.

I tried to get Garrett's attention to get some relief or something.

No luck.

He was engrossed in conversation with the couple next to him the whole time and claims he didn't hear Kenadie at all (honestly!?).

(I later learned that he was talking about our faith to this couple who both seemed very interested in what we believe.  Such a missionary!)

I barely kept my sanity during that flight

and may have thought once or twice that my child was surely the devil.

I didn't expect a smooth, quiet trip.

After all, we haven't exactly had awesome luck in the past when it comes to flying.

But holy moly, I'm just glad we made it home alive

and that when I went and got Kenadie from her crib this morning, 

I had forgotten the biting and screeching

and just smooched those cheeks over and over!

I do not want to fly again for a long, long time.

The end.