As a new mom, I admit that there's about 640,723 things that I need to learn about parenthood. I'm learning more and more every day and I appreciate the examples, suggestions, and encouragement I receive that have helped me be a better person and mom. Sometimes, the well-meaning advice and counsel from others has left me feeling like I must be an idiot or something.
Here are some of the comments/advice/counsel/wisdom that have been imparted to me recently and which have made me feel particularly awesome:
Here are some of the comments/advice/counsel/wisdom that have been imparted to me recently and which have made me feel particularly awesome:
*My "bad diet" during pregnancy is to blame for Kenadie's colic and reflux (who cares if Cheerios was all I could keep down during the pregnancy and that eating anything else would lead me on a fast track to the hospital; I should have eliminated carbs and dairy from my diet, because they're like poison to your baby or something. I should have sucked it up and eaten my fruits, leafy green veggies, and legumes!)
*Despite months of preparation, reading through three natural childbirth books, and giving my best efforts to fulfill a longtime goal of delivering a baby without the use of drugs, I must not have prepared or tried hard enough because I ended up getting an epidural. Anyone can labor and deliver relatively quickly without an epidural.
*If your labor is long and hard, then you're doing something wrong: if you only let gravity "work for you"(i.e. squat down), active labor should only last about three hours and no more than seven. (ha!)
*If you have an epidural and don't deliver in the squatting position, you baby's delivery will likely be traumatic and traumatic deliveries are the cause of many neck and spine issues, colic, and reflux in babies (which Kenadie has).
*It is because of a bad diet that I got a yeast infection in my breasts and had to stop breastfeeding. Breastfeeding moms should be cutting out carbs to prevent yeast infections and their devastating consequence of having to formula-feed baby.
*A healthy, breastfed baby should never throw up. If a breastfed baby IS throwing up, then mom needs to eliminate all dairy and wheat from her diet.
*Feeding Kenadie formula is only furthering her colic/reflux/issues. Kenadie needs breast milk.
*Though I read several books and listened to counsel/advice/opinions/seminars of those both for and against vaccines, I have made a terrible mistake, must not be well-educated enough, and have been brainwashed because I still opted to have Kenadie receive a few of the basic vaccines.
*On the other side, I have made a terrible mistake because I chose not to give Kenadie the Hepatitis B vaccine, the rotavirus vaccine, and the flu shot. Babies need ALL of these shots.
*Letting Kenadie cry for half the night in her crib is cruel and neglectful.
*On the other side, I really should be letting Kenadie cry for as long as it takes for her to learn to stay asleep without waking up and crying all night long.
*I should not be putting Kenadie to sleep on her stomach (SIDS risk).
*Nor should I try putting Kenadie to sleep on her back (risk of puking and the choking on it).
*I should always put my baby to sleep on her side.
*Getting Kenadie adjusted regularly by a chiropractor will resolve all her issues. If it doesn't, then the finger of blame gets pointed back to the epidural and formula that Kenadie is getting.
*I should not have put Kenadie on an antacid to try and resolve her reflux.
*I should never have taken Kenadie off the antacid even though it wasn't working.
*A happy, healthy, well-rested child is the direct result of educated and wise parenting.
Huh. Um......thank you? Well, now that I feel like a complete failure as a woman and mother, I'm going to go do something that I know I always rock at: baking homemade bread! Mmm, mmm!!!
*Despite months of preparation, reading through three natural childbirth books, and giving my best efforts to fulfill a longtime goal of delivering a baby without the use of drugs, I must not have prepared or tried hard enough because I ended up getting an epidural. Anyone can labor and deliver relatively quickly without an epidural.
*If your labor is long and hard, then you're doing something wrong: if you only let gravity "work for you"(i.e. squat down), active labor should only last about three hours and no more than seven. (ha!)
*If you have an epidural and don't deliver in the squatting position, you baby's delivery will likely be traumatic and traumatic deliveries are the cause of many neck and spine issues, colic, and reflux in babies (which Kenadie has).
*It is because of a bad diet that I got a yeast infection in my breasts and had to stop breastfeeding. Breastfeeding moms should be cutting out carbs to prevent yeast infections and their devastating consequence of having to formula-feed baby.
*A healthy, breastfed baby should never throw up. If a breastfed baby IS throwing up, then mom needs to eliminate all dairy and wheat from her diet.
*Feeding Kenadie formula is only furthering her colic/reflux/issues. Kenadie needs breast milk.
*Though I read several books and listened to counsel/advice/opinions/seminars of those both for and against vaccines, I have made a terrible mistake, must not be well-educated enough, and have been brainwashed because I still opted to have Kenadie receive a few of the basic vaccines.
*On the other side, I have made a terrible mistake because I chose not to give Kenadie the Hepatitis B vaccine, the rotavirus vaccine, and the flu shot. Babies need ALL of these shots.
*Letting Kenadie cry for half the night in her crib is cruel and neglectful.
*On the other side, I really should be letting Kenadie cry for as long as it takes for her to learn to stay asleep without waking up and crying all night long.
*I should not be putting Kenadie to sleep on her stomach (SIDS risk).
*Nor should I try putting Kenadie to sleep on her back (risk of puking and the choking on it).
*I should always put my baby to sleep on her side.
*Getting Kenadie adjusted regularly by a chiropractor will resolve all her issues. If it doesn't, then the finger of blame gets pointed back to the epidural and formula that Kenadie is getting.
*I should not have put Kenadie on an antacid to try and resolve her reflux.
*I should never have taken Kenadie off the antacid even though it wasn't working.
*A happy, healthy, well-rested child is the direct result of educated and wise parenting.
Huh. Um......thank you? Well, now that I feel like a complete failure as a woman and mother, I'm going to go do something that I know I always rock at: baking homemade bread! Mmm, mmm!!!
7 comments:
Mmm, I like bread. And you do make some of the best bread around. I also like YOU! I can't wait until I someday get to be in the same room as you and give one of my best friends (who often ends up in stories about the good old college days to my students) a hug! :)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh love it!! I agree people are so funny and think they know so much. My thoughts on colic babies is NOTHING works so they are all wrong! Ha ha. Hang in there.
To be honest, I really can't believe people have had the nerve to say these things to you :P Maybe I just don't pay that much attention (:P) but I haven't had anyone give me much advice (which after reading these little "gems" I'm feeling grateful about). You just keep on taking that parenting one step at a time- I'm sure you're doing a fabulous job. Being a new mom is something every woman has to do and experience for herself (even us very educated nurses ;)), and all the advice in the world can't change some of the nitty gritty parts of it. Your little girl really is a cutie- I'm going to have to make sure my little Jackson is a charmer and a gentleman to even have a shot of winning her heart one day :)
I'm sorry Holly! I remember how hard I tried to listen to everyone's advice on anything and everything when I had Alani! There are a ton of things I did different by the time I stopped listening to everyone else and tapped into myself. Kanani has reaped those rewards!! lol!! Love you!! Remember, this is YOUR family!! Let the Holy Spirit guide you and try not to listen too much to those well meaning people.... lol! Love you!!
HA! It's so funny how strongly people in each camp feel about each of these issues. So silly- only you can be the best mom for Kenadie, even if none of us can be perfect at every little aspect of parenting. If we already were, what would we be doing here? I think you're an awesome mom who's doing her best for her little girl!
Wow- were did you find all these people with all this advice- some of which I would say is way out there! Oh, you must be soooo much more patient than me because I would have let them have it! I do know about the formula thing, TONS of people told me how even though Avery was adopted she should still be getting breastmilk- either I take drugs to induce breastmilk, which doesn't really work that great, or I should get it from a milk bank. Of course breastmilk would have been my number one choice, but sometimes that just isn't practical. Needless to say she was on formula from the day she was born and has always been healthy and strong. In fact, she has the best record I know for a 3 year old- no ear infections, never even thrown up! (of course she spit up as a baby, but I'm talking puke here) Never even been on an antiobiotic or had to visit the doctor for anything but a well baby visit. So your anti-formula people can take that.
haha! thanks, Lori. Yeah, a lot of this "advice" came from a chiropractor at a pediatric chiropractic seminar. Needless to say, it was me and my family with the chiropractor in front of 25 or so students and the lady made me feel like most unfit mother ever. Basically all of Kenadie's problems were my fault. Needless to stay, we left ASAP, Garrett and I were fuming!
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